Two kiwis and one jersey tomato

I wandered into the main office of the beachhouse earlier this week and was chatting w Tom, the guy who manages the place. I was sorta looking at the wall of cheesy looking tour flyers that advertised stuff to do outside of beach related activities of Byron Bay. I figured I should branch out. A little.

The little town of Nimbin sits about 30 miles inland from Byron, nestled in the 'shire'. (They really call rolling green pastures a 'shire' here, how the hellll am I not to think of LOTR? I can't help it) and it's big claim to fame is that it's cute, it's quaint, and it's full of hippies and rastas. Ya mon.

So I say to Tom: I'm thinking of checking this place out...do you recommend any of these vans/buses/tours - kinda cringing b.c they all looked pretty chez. I hear a think Aussie-esque but not quite Aussie accent say "You don't want to deal with that. Just come with us if you'd, we're leaving at 8:30 tomorrow morning". Standing in the doorway is Micheal with crazy blond dreads hanging down past his butt and this Jeff Spicoli/Ed Harris look going on. Introductions were made, 8:30 sounded great (what the hell else was I going to be doing), and I was getting picked up for my Nimbin adventure in the morning. Saweet.


Enter my new kiwi friends, Michael Greengrass (seriously) and his buddy Alex who just so happens to look EXACTLY like the dark curly haired half of Flight of the Concords (kiwis), except skinnier and w bluer eyes. These guys are both from New Zealand and have been living/working/hanging out in Australia...for years. We get in the white VW campervan (it's Alex's, he occassionally lives in it but for the past few months has been camping at some beachside campground) and take off for Nimbin.

We cruised by some crazy purty stuff -- groves of macadamia nut trees, coffee farms, olive farms - amazing. It was a pretty misty morning, so although bright out, there was a kinda cool murky mist sitting low over the valleys. Michael, absolutely the more brash more crazy storyteller of the 2, basically was a hilarious tour guide, spewing out facts and figures and all sorts of info while Alex kinda rolled his eyes at the appropriate moments while he quietly read a brainy book in the back. They're kinda like a kiwi beach bum odd couple.

So we get to Nimbin. It's got one streetlight; super tiny spot. No one is there - the horrid vans of people show up later in the day, so we're there early havin coffee w the locals - half of which know Michael. (He lived there for 3 months a few years back)This guy has got more stories than anyone I think I've ever met. I leave at that here, for now. We basically walked around, hung out, went to a hippie bookstore, went to a hippie music store, had lunch. Came back.

The neatest part of the whole day was getting into the heads of 2 New Zealanders, who by all intents *hate* a LOT of stuff about Australia...but yet continue to live here for years. WTF! Admit you love it or tell me why you hate it. C'mon. I called them on this after about the 15th comment of 'it's not like at home' or 'kiwis do it better'etc etc ...

Me: Guys. C'mon. If you think everyone here is so lame and NON impressive in every way...Why are you here huh?

Michael: (Pause, pretending to give it some thought in a smartass way) Well I think what we've got is a classic case of little brother/big brother syndrome ...

Alex (cuts him off from the back seat and blurts out somewhat spastically) ...EXCEPT in this case, the little brother is the big brother!!



We all laughed at the ridiculousness of that point being proven, undeniably.


ps. Kiwis (at least these 2) say "heaps" and "choice" ALL THE TIME.